2020 the year the world the changed and my personal journey ie journal

I am not sure if I will publish this but it is time to write this is just a personal story on my personal blog. A couple weeks ago life changed around the world with COVID-19. Prior to this I was going to start blogging again about my journey with Fibroids including my first Ultrasound and MRI but I have a procrastination problem. I already had so much stuff going on in my life this year that I had stopped watching the news. I was getting through by looking forward to my 6 month old nephew visiting here for the first time and maybe a future trip to Vegas. I also really like my job, have the best boss, and most of my social connection happens there with people that have very different backgrounds than me. Over the last month I knew that things were going to change as our government was advising us without making us panic. Then two weeks ago everything changed here as we were seeing things happen in other places and then the last week almost every country has been in some sort of stay home policy. I expected things to change I never expected the entire world would be in lock down mode at the same time. Everything that I was looking forward to is now cancelled and I watch the news too much. I am very grateful I live in BC and in Canada. I think our health authorities and government have been doing a fantastic job in keeping us safe while educating us on what needs to be done while preparing for the worst. Over the last couple of weeks things have become very serious where we have been advised to stay home as much as possible but we can still go to the grocery store etc as long as we are not sick and haven't traveled. Seeing all the business that have now closed is really difficult. Also seeing how crazy everyone has become in the grocery stores is also difficult. People are strange when they are panicked. I asked a friend where normally its impossible to get her to leave the house and she has been preparing for a disaster for over a year why suddenly she needs to go out so much she said it is because she is told to do it she wants to go out now. It seems to be a coping mechanism for most people. I am one of the lucky ones that does not have to worry about losing my job and I am not a critical worker. My office is still open but with limited staff but I already work in a place that does not have many people around. If I didn't take transit, wasn't immune compromised with an elderly mom that also lives alone I would feel safe being in my office but currently my boss is the one going there and providing the rest of us with some updates. I have friends who are in essential services, they are stressed by the amount of work they are having to do and have to go into crowded workplaces where people are coughing and others that work in international business where they likely won't have jobs to go back to once COVID-19 is eliminated. None of these things apply to me although I see the world. I feel bad even walking around my neighborhood its heartbreaking seeing all the businesses closed. I am worried about all the people that are having new issues on top of the old ones such as surgeries cancelled, unable to have funerals, can't go to church, being scared to go to work, mental health, all the economic issues and people dying but this isn't about that. This is about me personally for me if all the other things were not happening I have no problem staying home as long as I can still go outside. People keep asking me if I get lonely as I live alone but for me no I don't go out that much anyways and don't like people touching me normally. Really I lived the stay at home life a couple years ago while I was looking for a job minus the whole world being in the same situation. In February I was telling people to stop hugging me and they couldn't control themselves.  I asked another friend that was saying we should get together from a safe distance I said can you see me and not hug me she said this has been the hardest thing for her she just wants to hug people. No I won't be seeing her I am following our health authority directions and staying away from others as much as possible. When I go to the grocery store I feel like I am playing a video game called avoid the virus. I have discovered no one likes fresh produce in pandemics so I feel safe going to the produce store. I do not have this problem with having to touch others I am happier if you talk to me from 6ft away I know I am in the minority but I am already connected with people like me. I am worried for other friends who have recently separated and our just getting used to being alone and others that are in abusive relationships that are now stuck at home without being able to leave. Yes I am worried for the long term consequences of what COVID-19 is going to do to people's mental health. Yes I have financially been impacted with the market and likely my future pension as the government is going need to recover all the money they are giving out now. I support the decisions they are keeping people alive right now and that is the most important thing. I am still in a positive space hoping that things will get better soon in the meantime I am enjoying my time at home. My time goes super fast I still procrastinate a lot, sleep, work out at home, do online work and am in some social online groups. I see the other people saying they have cleaned their houses cooked for their kids and are bored nope not me I cooked and worked out today my day is over. I had already cut back on doing things over the past couple years for financial reasons so the rare things I did do like getting my nails done, eating out, or haircuts I have stopped awhile ago partly financially prior to COVID-19 partly because I knew things were going to get worse. I do miss going out to a coffee shop and when things are safe I will try to support small business but not right now I am not taking chances plus most are drive through only now and I don't have a car. I did take a walk around my neighborhood to see which business were proactive when it wasn't required those are the ones I will support. I live in an apartment which has beautiful private gardens and fountains and usually walk around my area. When I come home I use my steamer on everything that I touch and take a shower right away. I have to touch things to get out of my apartment I have outside stairs which I am taking as much as possible but I still have to go out the door. I live in a very quiet building I rarely see people here outside their apartments so am I paranoid probably but I don't see a reason to take chances I do not want to be anywhere near a hospital right now for any reason. Our health authorities are giving us the opportunity to stay safe and help them now so that is what I can do. Although we are still in preparation mode here and I do think that our government has done a decent job of keeping things okay here still things have changed and people are returning from travelling. Many of the cases here were from a dental conference dentists have been closed. The Doctors office has only been doing phone consultations for over a month. I was worried as I didn't get an appointment to discuss the MRI results I had in January until April 3 as that is normally how long things take here I am happy that I will be able to keep my appointment over video chat. Our medical teams have figured out how to work remotely I am grateful. Prior to COVID-19 I was the one that had ordered hand sanitizer at work and the only one that used it. I always have the organic kind in purse and at home I prefer to use the steamer but I do have a couple Costco size containers of Lysol wipes at my house. I always wash my hands especially before touching anything that goes in my mouth and I don't touch my face that much. There was no need for me to go panic buy these things I already have them I am already a person that tries to avoid germs. I also spray immunity essential oil on myself before going out. My problem was that for at least a month I couldn't get the sanitizer I like I did find one bottle of it a few weeks ago at an independent store I only bought one and then they were all gone. As I am not certain on how transmission works no one does I also avoid eating out, only eat cooked food, and as much as possible stay away from other people. I am hoping the psychics are correct that everything be completely back to normal by May 25 and until then I will keep myself entertained and positive at home until things get better. I feel very fortunate that I have a home I like, many virtual connections, many things I like to do at home, and I feel safe in my home. I will keep focusing on things that make me happy. If you are having a hard time being home let me know in the comments here on instagram @livingvancouverloca if there is anything you want me to write about that can help you. My biggest tip on staying at home and being happy is to find something to look forward to each day like a workout program or a meal. Do something consistent that makes you happy plan out 30 days of one item that you can do at home and reach out to people virtually. Stay safe and healthy and thank you for reading this blog. 

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